Rock Climbing and Such..

I told the Lord (even though I don't really need to) to do all that He has to do in order that I may experience true conversion and give my heart fully to Him.

I wasn't expecting all of it to hit hard at once. More is probably on the way or these trials will grow bigger, but right now...I don't know what to do.

I remember my rock climbing story/analogy that I talked about last week during my testimony...

One Wednesday morning, I began to climb the course that had the chimney. It was really easy until I got to the edge of the chimney and couldn't figure out how to get inside and finish the climb. I moved left and right, up and down, and yet I couldn't get inside. I started looked back down at the ground and decided maybe I'll just climb it later after finding a better path. I called down that I was ready to lower, but then Coach came over and started yelling, "What are you doing?!" I responded with, "Uhh...I'm ready to come down.." and he looked at me and said, "Are you a quitter?!" I laughed and said, "Noooooo...I just can't get inside!" He was like, "Of course you can!" And I said, "Uh...no....I mean, I understand the concept and everything, but I just can't get in..." And he gave me another look...and then I felt a tug that pushed me up a few inches higher. I sighed and attempted to jump for a rock. It took me a couple times, but finally I grabbed hold of it and somehow, pulled myself up into the chimney and finished the climb.

I related this to our Christian experience and the trials that come with it. In the beginning, we're just on the ground -- we're in the world. And once we decide to give our heart and our life to Jesus, we start climbing that wall, up to Him. It seems easy at first, but then suddenly, we reach that obstacle, that trial, that tribulation. We try to move around it, we think of what we ourselves can do to get over it, but nothing seems to work. Then, looking back down at the ground, looking back down at the world...it seems like an easier place to be in. We think, "Oh, this wouldn't have happened to me if I were still in the world, if I were still on the ground." Falling seems like the best option to us. Slipping back into the way our lives used to be, lowering ourselves back onto the ground seems like a solution. But if we don't give up, if we just persevere and trust in God, He will give us that pull, that strength, that will help us finish that climb up to Him.

Nice, right? But right now, feeling all this hurt, feeling all the confusion, feeling like I just want to give up...I'm back to where I was that Wednesday -- staring at that chimney and not knowing what to do and where to find the strength to continue. But now, it's a bigger chimney, or a group of chimneys, for trials are just piling up in front of me. Ignoring them and pretending everything is okay are things I do...but they don't last for long.

All is piling up and more is on the way, and right now...I need that tug, that strength to continue on.