trust.

"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths." Proverbs 3:5-6

In the Philippines, we were able to hand out small cards with our name, a verse, and our email on them. Usually many of the students would want us to sign their cards so we would leave a small message and our signature. I would write things like "Keep looking to Jesus," and "Only in Him will you find true happiness and perfect peace," but most of all, I would also write: "Trust in the Lord always!"

It's funny that now during this time, I'm having a hard time doing all the above, especially trusting in Him. Actually...it's not funny, more ironic, but it's such a bummer especially since 1 Cor. 9:14.

I'm praying that my faith and my trust in God will not waver, though the things that I would like to happen are not happening and most likely won't happen. When I saw something earlier, I felt a twinge of pain and closed my eyes and started saying to myself, "Trust in the Lord...He knows what's best...He has a better plan for you.." I've seen time and time again about how the Lord's plan is always the best plan, and yet even now, I'm still having trouble accepting it in this situation. Ahhhhhh.

The most I can do is just continue to pray and put all my trust in God. I prayed last night that the Lord may refine me through trials so that I will be able to stand for the troubles that are nearing quickly, and maybe this is another trial that I must go through. I must again go through something like this in order just to...learn to trust.

I have to remember my verse that I put on the cards too!:
"Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and He shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord." Psalms 27:14.

philippines mission trip 2008.

I've tried to think about what I can write about the mission trip that I just went on. I could write a synopsis of it, a day-to-day summary of what happened...but there are no words to fully explain this trip.

It was a life changing experience. Never in the States can anyone find the kindness, hospitality, sweetness, and love that the people in the Philippines have. We were so babied there because they really wanted to take care of us. Not only were they hospitable and kind, but they were so receptive to the Word. I'll never forget the time when a guy came up to receive his prize for getting an answer correct on a quiz--he got a Bible and the joy that he expressed when he got it was so priceless. I wouldn't trade anything in the world for that. It put such a huge smile on my face!

When I came back and people asked me, "How was the Philippines?" I tell them that I didn't want to come back. A friend of mine was like "Gee..thanks!" when I said that, but I don't know. With love and honesty I say this--I didn't miss anyone or anything (except kinda flushing toilets but I got used to it..) from back home. When you're doing work for God, nothing else is on your mind. You put your all into the work and it's just so amazing to see the results. Praise the Lord because without Him, nothing that we did on this trip would have meant anything or even happened.

This mission trip has shed a new light on life. I felt like I could do this forever--full time missionary work. But I know there's a mission field that I have here back at home, but I dunno...maybe if God calls me to it after school, I will go!

I don't know what else to add...I just can't describe it. All my training in English and writing have failed me because...I just can't find the words to say anything else about it. I thank the Lord for this opportunity because I would not trade anything for those two weeks.

the night before.

So...it's two in the morning and I'm still in Loma Linda. We're leaving for the Philippines in about twenty hours. It still hasn't hit me that we're leaving.

Right now, I'm at Mike's house with JR, Luis, Justin, Tina, Mike, and Kurt. I'm so sleepy! I haven't packed yet and stuff like that and I really want to be in my bed!

I'm gonna miss everything but I pray that this trip truly changes my life and brings me closer to God.

Please keep us in your prayers.

congratulations tracy

we love you!

competition

This is why I shouldn't watch competitive TV, such as the Game 6: Celtics vs. Lakers

I am surprisingly really bummed.

Competition is also the reason I've decided not to play competitive volleyball anymore--it just doesn't bring out the best in people, and especially does not reveal the character of Christ.

Haha...I can't say anymore. I feel so down. LOL, lame right?

and so it begins

...my constant and obsessive checking of my grades.

This is a habit I have formed since...I guess, last year? After the quarter is over, I constantly check my transcript almost every hour until all the grades are up.

Note to Dr. Dean and Dr. Kim:
it would be soooo awesome if my B+ was bumped up to A-.
My face would go from this: =) to this: =D !

And thanks Dr. Martin for posting up the grades quickly for Patient/Physician Comm. And thanks for the grade too =]

Now Guru, you said the grades would be up by 12 P.M. Monday. It is 11:48. I'm going to be waiting.

Haha. I need help.

last week.

It's my last week here at LSU! (for now, I guess, you never know what will happen..)

I'm so happy! Praise the Lord for His many blessings! I just finished my first final, from one of my hardest classes, Basic Med. Microbiology. I'm hoping for an A-! Yeah, that's not that great, it's not an A (bummer, I know), but it's much better than my grades that I've been getting in that class.

Today has started out as a great day. I woke up at 3:30 (crazy early!) and had my devotion. I didn't rush through this one or just read a chapter from the Bible like I usually do when I'm anxious and in a rush, but I took my time and read the passage from the Bible that corresponded with the chapter of Desire of Ages. What a blessing!

And then I just looked over my notes, got to eat breakfast, prepared my things and left for school at 6 A.M. (I was at home in Glendale for the weekend) It's a beautiful day and I'm just so happy! =]

Also, I just got to pay my tuition and no late fee has been charged (at least that's what the cashier said)! PTL! =]

Hopefully the rest of the week will be just as beautiful!

a significant life.

Someone texted me this last year:

A SIGNIFICANT life

comes not from

possession
position
pleasure
prestige
or power

it comes from humble hearts and the OBEDIENCE OF GOD.

I think I know why he sent this to me at the time. I remember we were in chemistry lab one afternoon and a friend of ours was going off on me on why I shouldn't become a nurse. He was telling me about how one day he would be my boss, how nursing isn't as great as medicine, and so on. It was basically about how I should become a doctor because of position, prestige, and power.

I've kept those words that are italicized above on a post-it beside my desk so I'll never forget them. There are so many people in the world that seek those things: they want many possessions to show off, they want the right position in society or in the workplace, they seek pleasure to make them happy and entertained for awhile, they want the prestige of a title, and they want the power for their self-glorification and self-respect. But what does that do for them in the end?

There are so many examples from many well-known people in the world that those things don't bring happiness. Why? Because God is not in the midst of it.

What will your life mean if your heart is not humbled and obedient to God? Your happiness, your possessions, your position, your pleasures, your power, and your prestige that you sought for will soon pass away and at the end of the day,

you'll just feel empty.

Don't ever turn away from the truth. Don't ever doubt what the Lord has done for you and the light that you have. You have been blessed with something that many in this world are seeking after--a full and significant life because you have the Lord in your heart, mind, and soul.

And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth forever. 1 John 2:17

loma linda girl.

Dear Elyssa:

It is my pleasure to inform you that the Admissions Committee of Loma Linda University School of Nursing voted to accept you for Fall Quarter 2008.

Praise the Lord!

Now I'm a Loma Linda girl...whatever that means.

senioritis.

Dx: senioritis

It's true--I have senioritis. Yes, I may not be a senior, but the term "junioritis" just doesn't sound right. I realized that I've caught this inflammation (haha, -itis is a suffix which means "the inflammation of...") because I'm preparing to go to a new school, just like a high school senior getting ready to go off to college. Unlike high school seniors, the rest of the quarter doesn't seem pointless--it's going to be a critical time to see if I can really step it up and reach the goals that I had mentioned before.

There's a twist though: what if I don't get in? If I don't get in, I'm going to take it as a sign that Nursing may not be where God wants me to be. Then...who knows what I'm going to do? Finish up pre-med prereqs, do Clinical Lab Science, wait a quarter to get accepted, or full time ministry and focus on getting CORE up and running.

Ahhhh. Loma Linda sent out their letters on Wednesday so now it's just time to wait anxiously for the mail to arrive. Just like I said--it's like high school over again when I was waiting for those acceptance/rejection letters to come. Hopefully it'll be like my UCSD turn out, not like my USC one. I felt so blue after that...

It's hard to believe that just one sheet of paper can hold your future on it.

knock knock.

"...who's there?"
"bum."
"bum who?"
"bummer, you're failing."

Ha ha ha. Not that funny? Yeah, I know. Life isn't that funny right now for me.

I'm in my seventh week of school--which means 70% of this quarter is done. At this point, I don't even know what an A or even a high B looks like. No joke. I have three weeks to pull up my grades.

I thought this quarter was going to be different, hopefully maybe a little easier! Nope, nope, nope--it's not. I'm busier than ever and it's getting so tiring. I don't even have enough time to study! Well...to study like I'm supposed to.

It's funny: I'm ending my current time here at La Sierra just like how I started it. I didn't have great grades during my first quarter of my freshman year, and at this point in my junior year (my 2nd year though...), I don't have great grades.

I really want to pull my cumulative GPA to a 3.7 though! I also want to make the Dean's List again, which would mean that I was on it this whole year.

I'm not going to give up--but I'm going to need a lot of help.

"I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." Phil. 4:13

may updates

As the month of May continues to pass by, it gets busier every week for me!

I've had to ask my roommate Nikki to change my passwords for Facebook and Myspace during the weekdays because it's such a big temptation to just waste my time on those sites rather than doing schoolwork. I've realized that those sites are actually not a big deal and I could really live without them. Yes, it's taken me a great while to realize that! However, many of my friends think otherwise so that's why I haven't deleted them yet. I'm still trying to delete my Tumblr site, but I can't find it!

Since it's late, I'm going to bullet my updates:

• I'm going to the Philippines! Woo June 25-July 14! Praise the Lord! I can't wait =]
• I hear from Loma Linda University School of Nursing sometime this month. Many people reassure me that I'll be accepted, but I'm still not sure. I know so many smart people that are applying for those spots for Fall 2008, so we'll see. It's in God's hands.
• I love my mommy! and of course my daddy as well. Since yesterday was Mother's Day, I got to take my mom out to lunch. It was fun! I enjoy hanging out with her. Haha.
• The Americana on Brand is finished! It's so pretty there! My mom and I looked at the Excelsior homes (they're the ones that you can own) this morning. We had an appointment because she's been pre-approved for a purchase of a home and they are okay. I love the amenities of living there!
• Finish the Work is getting busier too! This week, we're going to be doing Sabbath School at Vallejo Drive SDA. I'm excited because it's so close to home (as in my permanent residence-home)!
• I need to learn how to study. You'd think that I would have caught onto that concept, but nope.

Okay...that's all I can think of for the moment. Now it's time to shower and do math homework. Yup--I still have the worst time management skills ever.

ASi Video

This is a video that Luke made for the ASi Pacific Union Conference 2008.

insights and more

This past week and weekend has been so busy! ASi Pacific Union Conference started on Thursday, Microbiology test on Friday, ASi Conference on Saturday, and Pre-Professional Conference today. And on top of that, my mom is sick and I'm starting to come down with something.

Anyways, here are some insights that I've received from this past weekend:

• Nelson quoted from Christian Service (I can't find the quote!) saying how if one was truly full of zeal, that person would never fall. Of course for many, that is not the case. But the Bible says in Proverbs 24:16 that "For a just man falleth seven times, and riseth up again: but the wicked shall fall into mischief." Even though we fall, the fact that we want to get up and ask Christ to raise us up is really something. There are many that fall, and just keep on falling, and never ask to be lifted up just because they enjoy what they've landed on.
• I shouldn't live for others. I shouldn't live for the praise of men and women, but for the praise of God. I've noticed many times in my life, I do soooo many things just to get people to like me, just so they can say nice things about me. That's nice and dandy and great to do things for people and have them like you, but that's not what my life's purpose should be based upon. I should do all things for God and if some don't like it, then so be it.
• I need to make a change in my life, in my study habits, etc. I need to figure out what and who are true priorities in my life. Also, I need to start focusing! I can't depend on the fact that there were times that I've studied the night before a test and have gotten a pretty decent grade. Auntie Cheeky and the panelists made that clear in the conference today. I need to take the time to truly focus. Even though what I'm learning may not be as important as an education in spiritual things, this will help me be a blessing to God and to others and I should do the best that I can in this world.

So yeah, just some stuff I thought about yesterday and today. By the way, I just want to commend Samantha for the great job that she did today at the Pre-Professional Conference! =]

all i can do

...is cry.

I didn't think I would cry, but after reading an email from a friend and while listening to "I'm Yours" by Jason Mraz, the tears just started to fall down my cheek. They're still falling and are actually stinging my face because of my sunburns that I got this past weekend.

I guess everything has just accumulated into teardrops:
My mom's sick, Pastor Roxas has been diagnosed with colon cancer-
I'm so tired and stressed and behind in my schoolwork-
After several months, I'm still not over it-
I feel so alone-
I empathize with those who are hurting: Michelle's friend who lost her father and whose brother is sick, Michael and Jeremy's family, Kurt's grandfather--when is all the pain going to end?
I'm scared that nursing isn't for me-
It's been a year and I'm still not the girl that Christ wants me to be, and I feel like I'm slipping-

blaaaaah.
Hah, this may be too much for you [the reader]; I have crossed the line, over and past the norm of reciprocity, especially since I have no idea who reads this...

nursing or not

Instead of typing up my Microbiology lab report, I am here again pondering about what to do.

What am I doing in life?
I am the President of the Pre-Nursing club and I'm anxiously awaiting the response of Loma Linda University to my application, and yet I'm wondering if this my calling.

Friends tell me that I shouldn't have given up on Pre-Med and all that. They tell me that I'm smart enough to go to Med School and be a doctor, but am I really?

There are so many possibilities for me to do: become a health evangelist, teach nutrition/health at CORE (yes, I really want to! Let meeeeeee in 2 years, Mike and Shane!), be a teacher (either for Nursing school or Med school...depends on what I become), be a doctor, be a nurse (practitioner or anesthetist), be a physician's assistant, get a Master's in Public Health for Education/Nursing...

Whenever I see others question nursing and go back to school after they finish nursing to do another degree, it makes me doubt whether or not I made the right decision to become a nurse.

Lord, please guide meeeeeeeee.

too intense for spring

This quarter looked like it would be less busy than last quarter, but it turns out that it's not going to be!

• I have to decide whether I should drop Volleyball because I don't know when I can do the outside practicing and I don't want to lie about it.

• My Developmental Psychology class is a service-learning class, so I need to do 2 hours of service-learning per week. I can either do Tuesday/Thursday 1-2 P.M. or Thursday 1-3 P.M. If I do Tuesday, my Tuesdays will be crazy filled because I have class from 9-11 A.M., service-learning from 1-2 P.M., lab TA from 3-6 P.M., and class from 6-8 P.M. But...I need Thursdays to grade lab notebooks!

• Not only is Dev. Psych a service-learning class, but it might be the hardest class I have this quarter. There's so much info and so many papers!

• Microbiology lab is going to be intense. Maybe not the actual lab, but the pre-lab reports, the materials sheet, and especially the lab report! 4-8 pages...and 4 pages will probably not be suffice for some labs. Ahh...this is crazier than General Biology lab!

I need to really focus and practice good time management this quarter. I might need to drop Volleyball, even though it looks like lots of fun. If I have too much on my plate, then I'll be stressed, my face will break out even more, I'll go to sleep late and wake up late so I'll miss my devotions, I'll be too frenzied that I won't be showing the character of Christ in my life, etc. However, this is good practice for next year, when I take on Nursing at Loma Linda. I want to do the accelerated track so I need to start time management and good study skills now!

Pacific Union ASI 2008 convention nears

"The Pacific Union ASI yearly meeting is scheduled for April 24-27 at the Pacific Palms Resort in Industry Hills, CA. The meeting starts Thursday evening and runs through Sunday morning. Featured speakers include Mike Ryan, General Vice President of SDA, Don Mackintosh, Director of Amazing Facts College of evangelism, and a dynamic youth group called "Finish the Work". There will be testimonies of ASI members and lots of fellowship, music and good food. See Download section of this website for applications for attendance and for booth rental."
via (ASI Pacific Union)

re-blogging

Ever since I've found the way to reblog on my Tumblr site, I've been reblogging non-stop. That just goes to show you how bright and creative I can be.

overwhelmed

Today was the beginning of Spring Quarter, and I'm already overwhelmed, tired, and wishing summer was tomorrow. My classes...are more work than I expected. I knew I would have to study a lot for Microbiology so that wasn't a surprise, Statistics was not the math I expected it to be, and Developmental Psychology and Volleyball are both more work than I planned. I might drop volleyball though--it depends on how many papers I need to write in my second psychology class. I also start work tomorrow with a real lab! So I need to brush up on my photosynthesis before I go.

But I just remembered...(how sad, I should always keep this in my heart) that: I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. Philippians 4:13

This quarter...I will get through it, no matter how overwhelming it seems right now, as long as I have Jesus by my side!