love one another.

Review and Herald, June 5, 1888
EGW

"A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another: as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another." These words are not the words of man, but the words of our Redeemer; and how important it is that we fulfill the instruction that he has given! There is nothing that can so weaken the influence of the church, as the lack of love. Christ says, "Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves." If we are to meet opposition from our enemies, who are represented as wolves, let us be careful that we do not manifest the same spirit among ourselves. The enemy well knows that if we do not have love one for another, he can gain his object, and wound and weaken the church, by causing differences among brethren. He can lead them to surmise evil, to speak evil, to accuse, condemn, and hate one another. In this way the cause of God is brought into dishonor, the name of Christ is reproached, and untold harm is done to the souls of men.

How careful we should be, that our words and actions are all in harmony with the sacred truth that God has committed to us! The people of the world are looking to us, to see what our faith is doing for our characters and lives. They are watching to see if it is having a sanctifying effect on our hearts, if we are becoming changed into the likeness of Christ. They are ready to discover every defect in our lives, every inconsistency in our actions. Let us give them no occasion to reproach our faith.

It is not the opposition of the world that will most endanger us; it is the evil cherished right in our midst that works our most grievous disaster. It is the unconsecrated lives of half-hearted professors that retard the work of the truth, and bring darkness upon the church of God.

There is no surer way of weakening ourselves in spiritual things, than to be envious, suspicious of one another, full of fault-finding and evil surmising. "This wisdom descendeth not from above, but is earthly, sensual, devilish. For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work. But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be entreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy. And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace of them that make peace."

God would have us individually come into that position where he can bestow his love upon us. He has placed a high value upon man, and has redeemed us by the sacrifice of his only begotten Son, and we are to see in our fellow-man the purchase of the blood of Christ. If we have this love one for another, we shall be growing in love for God and the truth. We have been pained at heart to see how little love is cherished in our midst. Love is a plant of heavenly origin, and if we would have it flourish in our hearts, we must cultivate it daily. Mildness, gentleness, long suffering, not being easily provoked, bearing all things, enduring all things,--these are the fruits upon the precious tree of love.

When you are associated together, be guarded in your words. Let your conversation be of such a nature that you will have no need of repentance. "Grieve not the Holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption." "A good man out of the good treasure of the heart bringeth forth good things: and an evil man out of the evil treasure bringeth forth evil things." If the love of the truth is in your heart, you will talk of the truth. You will talk of the blessed hope that you have in Jesus. If you have love in your heart, you will seek to establish and build up your brother in the most holy faith. If a word is dropped that is detrimental to the character of your friend or brother, do not encourage this evil-speaking. It is the work of the enemy. Kindly remind the speaker that the word of God forbids that kind of conversation. We are to empty the heart of everything that defiles the soul temple, that Christ may dwell within. Our Redeemer has told us how we may reveal him to the world. If we cherish his Spirit, if we manifest his love to others, if we guard one another's interests, if we are kind, patient, forbearing, the world will have an evidence by the fruits we bear, that we are the children of God. It is the unity in the church that enables it to exert a conscious influence upon unbelievers and worldlings.

The church of Christ is spoken of as a holy temple. Says the apostle, "Now therefore ye are no more strangers and foreigners, but fellow-citizens with the saints, and of the household of God; and are built upon the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Jesus Christ himself being the chief corner-stone; in whom all the building fitly framed together groweth unto an holy temple in the Lord: in whom ye also are builded together for a habitation of God through the Spirit." All the followers of Christ are represented as stones in the temple of God. Every stone, large or small, must be a living stone, emitting light and fitting into the place assigned it in the building of God. How thankful we should be that a way has been opened whereby we may each have a place in the spiritual temple! Will you, my brethren and sisters, think of these things, study them, talk of them? It is just in proportion as we appreciate these things that we will become strong in the service of God, and so be enabled to comply with his requirements, and to be doers of the words of Christ.

God does not want us to place ourselves upon the judgment-seat, and judge each other. But how frequently this is done! Oh! how careful we should be lest we judge our brother. We are assured that as we judge, we shall be judged; that as we mete to others, it shall be measured to us again. Christ has said: "I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment. For by thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned." In view of this, let your words be of such a character that they will meet the approval of God. When we see errors in others, let us remember that we have faults graver, perhaps, in the sight of God, than the fault we condemn in our brother. Instead of publishing his defects, ask God to bless him, and to help him to overcome his error. Christ will approve of this spirit and action, and will open the way for you to speak a word of wisdom that will impart strength and help to him who is weak in the faith.

The work of building one another up in the most holy faith is a blessed work; but the work of tearing down is a work full of bitterness and sorrow. Christ identifies himself with his suffering children; for he says, "Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these, my brethren, ye have done it unto me." If all would carry out the instruction given by Christ, what love and unity would exist among his followers! Every heart has its own sorrows and disappointments, and we should seek to lighten one another's burdens by manifesting the love of Jesus to those around us. If our conversation were upon heaven and heavenly things, evil-speaking would soon cease to have any attraction for us. We would not then be placing our feet on the enemy's dangerous ground. We would not then be entering into temptation, or falling under the power of the evil one.

Instead of finding fault with others, let us be critical with ourselves. The question with each one of us should be, Is my heart right before God? Will this course of action glorify my Father which is in heaven? If you have cherished a wrong spirit, let it be banished from the soul. It is your duty to eradicate from your heart everything that is of a defiling nature; every root of bitterness should be plucked up, lest others be contaminated by its baleful influence. Do not allow one poisonous plant to remain in the soil of your heart. Root it out this very hour, and plant in its stead the plant of love. Let Jesus be enshrined in the soul.

Christ is our example. He went about doing good. He lived to bless others. Love beautified and ennobled all his actions, and we are commanded to follow in his steps. Let us remember that God sent his only begotten Son to this world of sorrow, to "redeem us from all iniquity, and to purify unto himself a peculiar people, zealous of good works." Let us seek to comply with the requirement of God, and fulfill his law. "Love is the fulfilling of the law," and He who died that we might live, has given us this commandment, that we should love one another as he has loved us; and the world will know that we are his disciples, if we have this love one for another.

love your stuff?

Watch this: www.storyofstuff.com

an inspired reminder.

Lately, I've been feeling sad that I have only a few more weeks with a couple of friends before they leave for school for about six or more months. I've known these two for about a year and a half, and they mean so much to me! These guys have challenged me, have uplifted me, have inspired me, and have shown me Christ, and it's just...going to be weird and different...not having them around.

We had our last revival of the year this past weekend, and it was our last revival with them for awhile, and I actually shed a few tears! Haha, I'm silly and whatever...but yeah... it's hard to separate from good friends.

Anyways, I praise the Lord for His reminders through His Word and through the pen of inspiration. It's just what I needed! Here's what happened:

I spent a couple of hours with them today in the library, and during the last hour, they were going through the fourth chapter of The Ministry of Healing entitled "The Touch of Faith." When I heard that, I got excited because my favorite passage from Spirit of Prophecy is on the last page of the chapter. If you haven't read that chapter, it's wonderful and powerful chapter! One of my favorites =] Anyways, I told them about my favorite passage and they kept that in mind. As they were reading along, they read a few quotations out loud and I got excited, so I went online and read along with them. Finally, they got to the last page and they liked it too! Yayy, haha. I told them about how God led me to this passage:

After SWYC 2007, I was going through a hard time. I was going to be separated from someone I really cared about and things were changing between us. I remember sitting in my room one day and was staring at my book shelf and I picked up The Ministry of Healing and I flipped to a page, and there it was: page 72. I read through it, and I knew that God gave showed it to me to remind me that He is there for me no matter what and that His love will never change, no matter if others' love for me does.

I told them that and they were like, "Praise God!" After we separated and I was walking to the dorm, I realized that God led me back to that passage for the same reason: because we were going to be separated for awhile. I thank the Lord for that time we spent together today and it's amazing that it was the very same chapter that had that passage. The Lord wanted me to remember that even though we were going to be separated for a few months and it's sad and all, He will never separate from me and us!

"Whatever your anxieties and trials, spread out your case before the Lord. Your spirit will be braced for endurance. The way will be open for you to disentangle yourself from embarrassment and difficulty. The weaker and more helpless you know yourself to be, the stronger will you become in His strength. The heavier your burdens, the more blessed the rest in casting them upon your Burden Bearer.

Circumstances may separate friends; the restless waters of the wide sea may roll between us and them. But no circumstances, no distance, can separate us from the Saviour. Wherever we may be, He is at our right hand, to support, maintain, uphold, and cheer. Greater than the love of a mother for her child is Christ's love for His redeemed. It is our privilege to rest in His love, to say, 'I will trust Him; for He gave His love for me.'

Human love may change, but Christ's love knows no change. When we cry to Him for help, His hand is stretched out to save." MH 72

ambassadors for Christ.

Ambassadors for Christ

Now then we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God did beseech you by us: we pray you in Christ's stead, be ye reconciled to God. 2 Cor. 5:20.

We are ambassadors for Christ, and we are to live, not to save our reputation, but to save perishing souls from perdition. Our daily endeavor should be to show them that they may gain truth and righteousness. Instead of trying to elicit sympathy for ourselves, by giving others the impression that we are not appreciated, we are to forget self entirely; and if we fail to do this, through want of spiritual discernment and vital piety, God will require at our hands the souls of those for whom we should have labored. He has made provision that every worker in His service may have grace and wisdom, that he may become a living epistle, known and read of all men. {YRP 164.1}

By watchfulness and prayer we may accomplish just what the Lord designs that we shall. By faithful, painstaking discharge of our duty, by watching for souls as they that must give account, we may remove every stumbling block out of the way of others. By earnest warnings and entreaties, with our own souls drawn out in tender solicitude for those that are ready to perish, we may win souls to Christ. {YRP 164.2}

I would that all my brethren and sisters would remember that it is a serious thing to grieve the Holy Spirit, and He is grieved when the human agent seeks to work himself, and refuses to enter the service of the Lord because the cross is too heavy or the self-denial too great. The Holy Spirit seeks to abide in each soul. If He is welcomed as an honored guest, those who receive Him will be made complete in Christ. The good work begun will be finished; the holy thoughts, heavenly affections, and Christlike actions will take the place of impure thoughts, perverse sentiments, and rebellious acts. {YRP 164.3}

The Holy Spirit is a divine teacher. If we heed His lessons, we shall become wise unto salvation. But we need to guard well our hearts; for too often we forget the heavenly instruction we have received, and seek to act out the natural inclinations of our unconsecrated minds. Each one must fight his own battle against self. Heed the teachings of the Holy Spirit. If this is done, they will be repeated again and again until the impressions are as it were "laid in the rock forever."--Counsels on Health, pp. 560, 561. {YRP 164.4}

thanksgiving break.

It's finally Thanksgiving Break!

I had class on Monday and Tuesday, and I seriously could NOT concentrate. My mind was already on "break" mode, so I was soooo not productive. I slept most of the day LOL.

Anyways, I went running with Derrick, Jenny, Mymar and Cherish on Tuesday night (I still want to say tonight) and it was a lot of fun. I walked only once on our run...yeah, I'm still out of shape!

That's not what I really wanted to post...I wanted to say that I'm hoping to be on the computer LESS than I am now. I learned that it predisposes you to some eye disease...LOL, yeah I really need to study.

Okay, my mind is pretty scattered right now. Hopefully I can get some sleep and wake up early to do some chores before I leave for home.

study break.

So, I'm reaching the end of my first quarter of Nursing school! Praise God! Without Him, I have no idea what would have happened these past few months.

Nursing school is challenging, but I'm loving the blessings that come with it. I am learning more about selflessness each time I work with a patient. I know that's a reason why God placed me here--because I need to learn to be selfless!!

Anyways, here's a video I came across on a friend's myspace and I've been so blessed by it:

be extraordinary.

When I arrived home today from Loma Linda, I saw the new issue of Pacific Union Recorder sitting on our kitchen table. It caught my eye because it was a special issue about Adventist Health. And now, being a student at an Adventist Health institution (is it part of Adventist Health?), I was interested. I'm glad I picked it up because I found an article that was just inspiring. I haven't been doing my very best in Nursing School lately, and I know I can do so much better, by the grace of God. I guess I just haven't really wanted to but this article gave me a little reminder why I should.

(via Pacific Union Recorder )

"Being Extraordinary for God"
By Ricardo Graham, President of the Pacific Union Conference

God calls us to be the best we can be—faithful, honest, charitable and kind. But what does "the best" mean today?

Often we measure our success by our work. Yet, being the best to God doesn't mean we have to be rich and famous or wildly successful by the standards of this world. Nor does it mean we have to be rocket scientists, doctors or lawyers (or even pastors). But as the faithful, we are expected to recognize and use the talents He gave us to do our very best.

Consider the challenge in Ecclesiastes 9:10: "Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with your might; for there is no work, nor device, nor knowledge, nor wisdom, in the grave, where you go."

God calls us ordinary individuals to be extraordinary—exceptional parents, remarkable sons and daughters, devoted husbands and wives, and faithful servants to one another. The Bible gives us many examples of these types of every day people called to do extraordinary things for God.

Consider Noah and his ark. Noah was a mere carpenter—but one with faith—and through Noah's work, God spared the world. Or consider Joseph. The favorite son and envied brother, this ordinary young man with a coat of many colors went on to be chief consultant to a king. And don't forget Mary and Martha. These sisters served Jesus intimately with Martha's wonderful meals and Mary's alabaster box of perfume. Through their faith, and Jesus' miracle, they saw their brother Lazarus raised from the dead.

These famous names mean something to us as Christians. They represent some of our fondest Bible heroes, people who accomplished great things in the name of the Lord. But the names Roger, Judy, David and Larry mean something, too. Like our Bible heroes, these ordinary individuals stand out because of their extraordinary work. Through their jobs at Adventist Health, these people extend the healing mission of Jesus Christ. Every day, they use their unique talents and gifts, to help heal the world—body, mind and spirit.

As vice chair of the Adventist Health Board of Directors, it is my privilege to associate with the individuals who give the organization its heart. There is no task too small to be extraordinary. Whether it's reading about IT innovator Roger Pruyne, traveling clinic manager Judy Alvarez, hospitalist Dr. David Kim or facilities director Larry Coffin and his team of tropical groundskeepers, I know you enjoyed learning about the extraordinary work happening in our health system.

Today I challenge you to be exceptional, and, in the words of an old hymnal favorite, to "brighten the corner where you are." No matter if it's pounding a nail on an ark, wiring a building, interpreting dreams or tending the sick, God has a plan for you. Use your gifts to honor God, and in everything, be extraordinary.

some thoughts.

I move into my new dorm, Lindsay Hall, at Loma Linda tomorrow and I'm just about freaking out.

Before, I was so excited about the thought of finally going to Loma Linda! Whenever I visited, I would be so happy and think, "This is going to be my school!" But now...I am scared out of my mind. I've heard so many stories and I'm so afraid that I'm just going to fail again. I have so many goals, but I'm so scared that I'm not going to reach them and I'm just so so so scared. I'm scared for the classes, a little nervous about clinicals, and I just know that I don't have the right study habits to help me get the grades that I want. For example, I am NOT ready for Med Term! I have NOT studied for that test and I have to read 15 chapters! I am so scared that I've just been procrastinating with everything. I'm not happy right now and I'm just...scared. I'm not excited...and I've been eating a lot because I'm a stress eater (just wanted to add that in because I just realized it).

I have no focus, no goals...I just...am so afraid.

Fun fact, just to lighten things up: I found a strand of red hair on my head. Whee.

good-bye teen years.

In about forty minutes, it'll be August 29--my birthday.

Although I don't officially turn twenty until around 9 P.M., I still want to take this time to say good-bye to my teen years.

Oh, my teen years
they weren't the greatest part of my life
but I did have some good times.

For months, I couldn't wait to turn twenty,
but now that it's finally here..

I DON'T WANT TO GROW OLD!

denial.

Registration for Loma Linda opened today.

I still have a huge load of holds.

Usually, I'd be on top of this and rush to get into my classes. At La Sierra, I would try to schedule my appointment with my adviser within one or two weeks of when advising opened. I would be registered for my next quarter's classes weeks before I even ended the current quarter!

But now...I have so much to do for Loma Linda, but I don't want to.

I think it's because I'm in denial that I'm actually going there.

Or maybe, it's probably this one: I'm scared out of my mind.

I've heard so many stories about Nursing school, and especially since I might be headed on the fast track at Nursing school, I'm so afraid! I'm not so nervous about dealing with patients--I'm more freaked out about the classes and all the studying! Over the past years, I've developed a bad study habit, and even though I do pretty well when I sit down and actually focus on something, I tend to wait until the very last minute to do so. I need to change that, but I don't know how!

I'm so so so scared.

everything's changing.

As I was getting ready to sleep, I remembered something we did for at least two months at La Sierra: morning manna. The Finish the Work members at LSU and some friends would get up around six in the morning and we would meet in the girls' dorm lobby, have a devotional, and eat breakfast in the caf together. Those were some great times and I was just remembering what fun we had together.

It makes me sad to think that my little brothers are leaving soon, and a few months later, a couple of my friends might leave as well. We've grown so close as a FTW family and I can't even imagine what it's gonna be like in the next six months. I know that we can't stay together forever, and that we have work to be done, but I can't help but miss how it was like just a couple of months ago.

boo me.

I am quite possibly the worst person ever.

post 131

A part of me wishes that I continued on towards Med School.

my rebaptism.

My first baptism took place when I was about eight or nine years old. I don't even remember going through the baptismal studies, but I knew I wanted to be baptized because I wanted to take part in Communion. I remember feeling like such a "big kid" after I was baptized because everyone kept coming up to me telling me, "Congratulations" and what not.

I didn't know what I was doing so I wasn't truly baptized. Sure, I got wet, but I was not baptized of the Holy Spirit. I didn't give my life to the Lord that day and I didn't for almost ten years.

I gave my life to the Lord and decided to live for Him on December 2, 2006. That Sabbath morning, the Lord was working on my heart, breaking down the hard wall that surrounded it, and when the words "Decide today to live for Jesus" were heard, they just penetrated the layers that I had created around my heart and struck to the core. I started to change my life after that day. Slowly, I began to learn more about Jesus. I remember waking up early one Sabbath morning because I wanted to watch the live telecast of GYC 2006 on 3ABN. I remember taking notes through the services when David Assherick , David Gates, and Jeffrey Rosario spoke. The Bible began to come alive in my life and I started seeing how I can make practical applications from the messages I had heard. Throughout the following year, I began helping out in Bible studies and doing revivals and just getting a blessing from this new life that I had found in the Lord.

There were several times when my friends had given appeals for baptism during revivals and I felt that I should answer the call to be rebaptized. One day I was talking about being rebaptized and my friend Ashley said she had been thinking about it for awhile too. We made a decision that we wanted to be rebaptized together but we just didn't know where. Finally, a little over a month ago, we decided to get rebaptized with our friend Luke in the Philippines at South Philippine Adventist College on July 4, 2008.

I remember just wanting to be alone that day and just meditate. I didn't want my second baptism to be like my first--where it didn't mean anything to me. I remember Ashley and I standing at the end of the line because we wanted to be baptized last. While we were waiting, we were just praying and I had my Bible with me and I was going over Galatians 2:20. We started crying as we entered the pool together and as we were baptized together.

That day signified something that I had chosen to do a year and a half ago--decide to live for Jesus and surrender my life to Him.

But lately, it seems that I have forgotten what I had decided to do. My heart has been broken many times before and even during the past year and now I'm going through it again. I was so tired of just "sucking it up" and just putting my life in Jesus's hands. I wanted things to go my way and I was so tired of not being the one for someone and just watching that person fall for another person. I even stopped praying and reading my Bible because I already knew what God wanted me to--He wanted me to trust Him with the situation and just leave it to Him. I had already gone through this and I had seen and praised the Lord for how another situation turned out and realized that He truly knows what's best but I just didn't want it to happen for this second situation. I was being so selfish and I knew that the wrong spirit was in me.

As I had my devotion about an hour ago and as I listened to "I Surrender All," I started to remember my rebaptism and how I had wanted to really take Galatians 2:20 to heart. I looked back on what I had been feeling and thinking this past week and realized that if I continued on that path, my rebaptism would have been like my first one. I had lost my trust for someone and realized that I was also fast losing my trust in God. I didn't want to go back to the life that I had lived before and I knew that I had to do something that was so hard: surrender my whole life to Christ again.

Although this is so hard to do and just leaving my life in His hands could possibly mean that I would go through another heart break and pain, I know deep in my heart that this is the best thing I can possibly do.

"I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live, yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave Himself for me." Galatians 2:20

no more complaints.

"Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content."
Philippians 4:11

I just listened to an amazing sermon just now and God was truly speaking through Alistair. This sermon was just like...something I really needed to hear and so that's why if you look at my previous post, all the words have strike through because that post was just a bunch of complaints.

So listen to this sermon because it's a blessing!

The Sin that Cost Canaan - Alistair Huong

i'm sorry.

...that I'm not going to have a "happy" post right now.

I'm tired of pretending to be all happy and cheerful in my posts when I'm not. Yes, I want to be uplifting and encouraging but I'm not going to be fake. And if whoever reads this is going to judge me for not being happy and cheerful, then go right ahead.

I'm so tired right now. I'm so tired of being right. People think that I'm just ...whatever. I'm just tired of being right about things and just having to suck it up in the end.

I'm having major trust issues right now and you know what, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I can't trust right now. It's just that...I've been through things before and I'm soooooooo tired of being hurt. I know it's probably my fault for putting myself in this situation, but I'm sorry! I've been saying that so many times and I guess that it's just my phrase for now. I should have someone write that across my forehead: I'm sorry. I've been saying that so many times that now it's coming out as "I'm sowwee."

Mike asked me if I rather be in a situation where I'm getting kicked out of the house for being baptized and not having anything and I said I rather be in that situation! I'm so tired of being in situations like this. This is like the second time in less than a year. Even though the other one hurt more and probably took a longer time to get over...I don't know. I'm just so tired.

Ahh I'm probably going to delete this when I'm in a better spirit, but I'm sorry for whoever's reading this because it's not...whatever.

trust.

"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths." Proverbs 3:5-6

In the Philippines, we were able to hand out small cards with our name, a verse, and our email on them. Usually many of the students would want us to sign their cards so we would leave a small message and our signature. I would write things like "Keep looking to Jesus," and "Only in Him will you find true happiness and perfect peace," but most of all, I would also write: "Trust in the Lord always!"

It's funny that now during this time, I'm having a hard time doing all the above, especially trusting in Him. Actually...it's not funny, more ironic, but it's such a bummer especially since 1 Cor. 9:14.

I'm praying that my faith and my trust in God will not waver, though the things that I would like to happen are not happening and most likely won't happen. When I saw something earlier, I felt a twinge of pain and closed my eyes and started saying to myself, "Trust in the Lord...He knows what's best...He has a better plan for you.." I've seen time and time again about how the Lord's plan is always the best plan, and yet even now, I'm still having trouble accepting it in this situation. Ahhhhhh.

The most I can do is just continue to pray and put all my trust in God. I prayed last night that the Lord may refine me through trials so that I will be able to stand for the troubles that are nearing quickly, and maybe this is another trial that I must go through. I must again go through something like this in order just to...learn to trust.

I have to remember my verse that I put on the cards too!:
"Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and He shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord." Psalms 27:14.

philippines mission trip 2008.

I've tried to think about what I can write about the mission trip that I just went on. I could write a synopsis of it, a day-to-day summary of what happened...but there are no words to fully explain this trip.

It was a life changing experience. Never in the States can anyone find the kindness, hospitality, sweetness, and love that the people in the Philippines have. We were so babied there because they really wanted to take care of us. Not only were they hospitable and kind, but they were so receptive to the Word. I'll never forget the time when a guy came up to receive his prize for getting an answer correct on a quiz--he got a Bible and the joy that he expressed when he got it was so priceless. I wouldn't trade anything in the world for that. It put such a huge smile on my face!

When I came back and people asked me, "How was the Philippines?" I tell them that I didn't want to come back. A friend of mine was like "Gee..thanks!" when I said that, but I don't know. With love and honesty I say this--I didn't miss anyone or anything (except kinda flushing toilets but I got used to it..) from back home. When you're doing work for God, nothing else is on your mind. You put your all into the work and it's just so amazing to see the results. Praise the Lord because without Him, nothing that we did on this trip would have meant anything or even happened.

This mission trip has shed a new light on life. I felt like I could do this forever--full time missionary work. But I know there's a mission field that I have here back at home, but I dunno...maybe if God calls me to it after school, I will go!

I don't know what else to add...I just can't describe it. All my training in English and writing have failed me because...I just can't find the words to say anything else about it. I thank the Lord for this opportunity because I would not trade anything for those two weeks.

the night before.

So...it's two in the morning and I'm still in Loma Linda. We're leaving for the Philippines in about twenty hours. It still hasn't hit me that we're leaving.

Right now, I'm at Mike's house with JR, Luis, Justin, Tina, Mike, and Kurt. I'm so sleepy! I haven't packed yet and stuff like that and I really want to be in my bed!

I'm gonna miss everything but I pray that this trip truly changes my life and brings me closer to God.

Please keep us in your prayers.

congratulations tracy

we love you!

competition

This is why I shouldn't watch competitive TV, such as the Game 6: Celtics vs. Lakers

I am surprisingly really bummed.

Competition is also the reason I've decided not to play competitive volleyball anymore--it just doesn't bring out the best in people, and especially does not reveal the character of Christ.

Haha...I can't say anymore. I feel so down. LOL, lame right?

and so it begins

...my constant and obsessive checking of my grades.

This is a habit I have formed since...I guess, last year? After the quarter is over, I constantly check my transcript almost every hour until all the grades are up.

Note to Dr. Dean and Dr. Kim:
it would be soooo awesome if my B+ was bumped up to A-.
My face would go from this: =) to this: =D !

And thanks Dr. Martin for posting up the grades quickly for Patient/Physician Comm. And thanks for the grade too =]

Now Guru, you said the grades would be up by 12 P.M. Monday. It is 11:48. I'm going to be waiting.

Haha. I need help.

last week.

It's my last week here at LSU! (for now, I guess, you never know what will happen..)

I'm so happy! Praise the Lord for His many blessings! I just finished my first final, from one of my hardest classes, Basic Med. Microbiology. I'm hoping for an A-! Yeah, that's not that great, it's not an A (bummer, I know), but it's much better than my grades that I've been getting in that class.

Today has started out as a great day. I woke up at 3:30 (crazy early!) and had my devotion. I didn't rush through this one or just read a chapter from the Bible like I usually do when I'm anxious and in a rush, but I took my time and read the passage from the Bible that corresponded with the chapter of Desire of Ages. What a blessing!

And then I just looked over my notes, got to eat breakfast, prepared my things and left for school at 6 A.M. (I was at home in Glendale for the weekend) It's a beautiful day and I'm just so happy! =]

Also, I just got to pay my tuition and no late fee has been charged (at least that's what the cashier said)! PTL! =]

Hopefully the rest of the week will be just as beautiful!

a significant life.

Someone texted me this last year:

A SIGNIFICANT life

comes not from

possession
position
pleasure
prestige
or power

it comes from humble hearts and the OBEDIENCE OF GOD.

I think I know why he sent this to me at the time. I remember we were in chemistry lab one afternoon and a friend of ours was going off on me on why I shouldn't become a nurse. He was telling me about how one day he would be my boss, how nursing isn't as great as medicine, and so on. It was basically about how I should become a doctor because of position, prestige, and power.

I've kept those words that are italicized above on a post-it beside my desk so I'll never forget them. There are so many people in the world that seek those things: they want many possessions to show off, they want the right position in society or in the workplace, they seek pleasure to make them happy and entertained for awhile, they want the prestige of a title, and they want the power for their self-glorification and self-respect. But what does that do for them in the end?

There are so many examples from many well-known people in the world that those things don't bring happiness. Why? Because God is not in the midst of it.

What will your life mean if your heart is not humbled and obedient to God? Your happiness, your possessions, your position, your pleasures, your power, and your prestige that you sought for will soon pass away and at the end of the day,

you'll just feel empty.

Don't ever turn away from the truth. Don't ever doubt what the Lord has done for you and the light that you have. You have been blessed with something that many in this world are seeking after--a full and significant life because you have the Lord in your heart, mind, and soul.

And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth forever. 1 John 2:17

loma linda girl.

Dear Elyssa:

It is my pleasure to inform you that the Admissions Committee of Loma Linda University School of Nursing voted to accept you for Fall Quarter 2008.

Praise the Lord!

Now I'm a Loma Linda girl...whatever that means.

senioritis.

Dx: senioritis

It's true--I have senioritis. Yes, I may not be a senior, but the term "junioritis" just doesn't sound right. I realized that I've caught this inflammation (haha, -itis is a suffix which means "the inflammation of...") because I'm preparing to go to a new school, just like a high school senior getting ready to go off to college. Unlike high school seniors, the rest of the quarter doesn't seem pointless--it's going to be a critical time to see if I can really step it up and reach the goals that I had mentioned before.

There's a twist though: what if I don't get in? If I don't get in, I'm going to take it as a sign that Nursing may not be where God wants me to be. Then...who knows what I'm going to do? Finish up pre-med prereqs, do Clinical Lab Science, wait a quarter to get accepted, or full time ministry and focus on getting CORE up and running.

Ahhhh. Loma Linda sent out their letters on Wednesday so now it's just time to wait anxiously for the mail to arrive. Just like I said--it's like high school over again when I was waiting for those acceptance/rejection letters to come. Hopefully it'll be like my UCSD turn out, not like my USC one. I felt so blue after that...

It's hard to believe that just one sheet of paper can hold your future on it.

knock knock.

"...who's there?"
"bum."
"bum who?"
"bummer, you're failing."

Ha ha ha. Not that funny? Yeah, I know. Life isn't that funny right now for me.

I'm in my seventh week of school--which means 70% of this quarter is done. At this point, I don't even know what an A or even a high B looks like. No joke. I have three weeks to pull up my grades.

I thought this quarter was going to be different, hopefully maybe a little easier! Nope, nope, nope--it's not. I'm busier than ever and it's getting so tiring. I don't even have enough time to study! Well...to study like I'm supposed to.

It's funny: I'm ending my current time here at La Sierra just like how I started it. I didn't have great grades during my first quarter of my freshman year, and at this point in my junior year (my 2nd year though...), I don't have great grades.

I really want to pull my cumulative GPA to a 3.7 though! I also want to make the Dean's List again, which would mean that I was on it this whole year.

I'm not going to give up--but I'm going to need a lot of help.

"I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." Phil. 4:13

may updates

As the month of May continues to pass by, it gets busier every week for me!

I've had to ask my roommate Nikki to change my passwords for Facebook and Myspace during the weekdays because it's such a big temptation to just waste my time on those sites rather than doing schoolwork. I've realized that those sites are actually not a big deal and I could really live without them. Yes, it's taken me a great while to realize that! However, many of my friends think otherwise so that's why I haven't deleted them yet. I'm still trying to delete my Tumblr site, but I can't find it!

Since it's late, I'm going to bullet my updates:

• I'm going to the Philippines! Woo June 25-July 14! Praise the Lord! I can't wait =]
• I hear from Loma Linda University School of Nursing sometime this month. Many people reassure me that I'll be accepted, but I'm still not sure. I know so many smart people that are applying for those spots for Fall 2008, so we'll see. It's in God's hands.
• I love my mommy! and of course my daddy as well. Since yesterday was Mother's Day, I got to take my mom out to lunch. It was fun! I enjoy hanging out with her. Haha.
• The Americana on Brand is finished! It's so pretty there! My mom and I looked at the Excelsior homes (they're the ones that you can own) this morning. We had an appointment because she's been pre-approved for a purchase of a home and they are okay. I love the amenities of living there!
• Finish the Work is getting busier too! This week, we're going to be doing Sabbath School at Vallejo Drive SDA. I'm excited because it's so close to home (as in my permanent residence-home)!
• I need to learn how to study. You'd think that I would have caught onto that concept, but nope.

Okay...that's all I can think of for the moment. Now it's time to shower and do math homework. Yup--I still have the worst time management skills ever.

ASi Video

This is a video that Luke made for the ASi Pacific Union Conference 2008.

insights and more

This past week and weekend has been so busy! ASi Pacific Union Conference started on Thursday, Microbiology test on Friday, ASi Conference on Saturday, and Pre-Professional Conference today. And on top of that, my mom is sick and I'm starting to come down with something.

Anyways, here are some insights that I've received from this past weekend:

• Nelson quoted from Christian Service (I can't find the quote!) saying how if one was truly full of zeal, that person would never fall. Of course for many, that is not the case. But the Bible says in Proverbs 24:16 that "For a just man falleth seven times, and riseth up again: but the wicked shall fall into mischief." Even though we fall, the fact that we want to get up and ask Christ to raise us up is really something. There are many that fall, and just keep on falling, and never ask to be lifted up just because they enjoy what they've landed on.
• I shouldn't live for others. I shouldn't live for the praise of men and women, but for the praise of God. I've noticed many times in my life, I do soooo many things just to get people to like me, just so they can say nice things about me. That's nice and dandy and great to do things for people and have them like you, but that's not what my life's purpose should be based upon. I should do all things for God and if some don't like it, then so be it.
• I need to make a change in my life, in my study habits, etc. I need to figure out what and who are true priorities in my life. Also, I need to start focusing! I can't depend on the fact that there were times that I've studied the night before a test and have gotten a pretty decent grade. Auntie Cheeky and the panelists made that clear in the conference today. I need to take the time to truly focus. Even though what I'm learning may not be as important as an education in spiritual things, this will help me be a blessing to God and to others and I should do the best that I can in this world.

So yeah, just some stuff I thought about yesterday and today. By the way, I just want to commend Samantha for the great job that she did today at the Pre-Professional Conference! =]

all i can do

...is cry.

I didn't think I would cry, but after reading an email from a friend and while listening to "I'm Yours" by Jason Mraz, the tears just started to fall down my cheek. They're still falling and are actually stinging my face because of my sunburns that I got this past weekend.

I guess everything has just accumulated into teardrops:
My mom's sick, Pastor Roxas has been diagnosed with colon cancer-
I'm so tired and stressed and behind in my schoolwork-
After several months, I'm still not over it-
I feel so alone-
I empathize with those who are hurting: Michelle's friend who lost her father and whose brother is sick, Michael and Jeremy's family, Kurt's grandfather--when is all the pain going to end?
I'm scared that nursing isn't for me-
It's been a year and I'm still not the girl that Christ wants me to be, and I feel like I'm slipping-

blaaaaah.
Hah, this may be too much for you [the reader]; I have crossed the line, over and past the norm of reciprocity, especially since I have no idea who reads this...

nursing or not

Instead of typing up my Microbiology lab report, I am here again pondering about what to do.

What am I doing in life?
I am the President of the Pre-Nursing club and I'm anxiously awaiting the response of Loma Linda University to my application, and yet I'm wondering if this my calling.

Friends tell me that I shouldn't have given up on Pre-Med and all that. They tell me that I'm smart enough to go to Med School and be a doctor, but am I really?

There are so many possibilities for me to do: become a health evangelist, teach nutrition/health at CORE (yes, I really want to! Let meeeeeee in 2 years, Mike and Shane!), be a teacher (either for Nursing school or Med school...depends on what I become), be a doctor, be a nurse (practitioner or anesthetist), be a physician's assistant, get a Master's in Public Health for Education/Nursing...

Whenever I see others question nursing and go back to school after they finish nursing to do another degree, it makes me doubt whether or not I made the right decision to become a nurse.

Lord, please guide meeeeeeeee.

too intense for spring

This quarter looked like it would be less busy than last quarter, but it turns out that it's not going to be!

• I have to decide whether I should drop Volleyball because I don't know when I can do the outside practicing and I don't want to lie about it.

• My Developmental Psychology class is a service-learning class, so I need to do 2 hours of service-learning per week. I can either do Tuesday/Thursday 1-2 P.M. or Thursday 1-3 P.M. If I do Tuesday, my Tuesdays will be crazy filled because I have class from 9-11 A.M., service-learning from 1-2 P.M., lab TA from 3-6 P.M., and class from 6-8 P.M. But...I need Thursdays to grade lab notebooks!

• Not only is Dev. Psych a service-learning class, but it might be the hardest class I have this quarter. There's so much info and so many papers!

• Microbiology lab is going to be intense. Maybe not the actual lab, but the pre-lab reports, the materials sheet, and especially the lab report! 4-8 pages...and 4 pages will probably not be suffice for some labs. Ahh...this is crazier than General Biology lab!

I need to really focus and practice good time management this quarter. I might need to drop Volleyball, even though it looks like lots of fun. If I have too much on my plate, then I'll be stressed, my face will break out even more, I'll go to sleep late and wake up late so I'll miss my devotions, I'll be too frenzied that I won't be showing the character of Christ in my life, etc. However, this is good practice for next year, when I take on Nursing at Loma Linda. I want to do the accelerated track so I need to start time management and good study skills now!

Pacific Union ASI 2008 convention nears

"The Pacific Union ASI yearly meeting is scheduled for April 24-27 at the Pacific Palms Resort in Industry Hills, CA. The meeting starts Thursday evening and runs through Sunday morning. Featured speakers include Mike Ryan, General Vice President of SDA, Don Mackintosh, Director of Amazing Facts College of evangelism, and a dynamic youth group called "Finish the Work". There will be testimonies of ASI members and lots of fellowship, music and good food. See Download section of this website for applications for attendance and for booth rental."
via (ASI Pacific Union)

re-blogging

Ever since I've found the way to reblog on my Tumblr site, I've been reblogging non-stop. That just goes to show you how bright and creative I can be.

overwhelmed

Today was the beginning of Spring Quarter, and I'm already overwhelmed, tired, and wishing summer was tomorrow. My classes...are more work than I expected. I knew I would have to study a lot for Microbiology so that wasn't a surprise, Statistics was not the math I expected it to be, and Developmental Psychology and Volleyball are both more work than I planned. I might drop volleyball though--it depends on how many papers I need to write in my second psychology class. I also start work tomorrow with a real lab! So I need to brush up on my photosynthesis before I go.

But I just remembered...(how sad, I should always keep this in my heart) that: I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. Philippians 4:13

This quarter...I will get through it, no matter how overwhelming it seems right now, as long as I have Jesus by my side!

spring quarter

...has finally arrived! It's my last quarter here at La Sierra for pre-nursing.

All of it is just so surreal...ten weeks here, and then hopefully I'll be off to Loma Linda.

Crazy....

Just as crazy as me having my interview this Friday (crazy, but true!).

Life is just speeding by

class standing

According to La Sierra University, I'm officially a Junior.

How coool! Haha.

eddleman rocks

PRAISE THE LORD!

Somehow, I got an A in A&P2!!!!

I'm not sure how that happened...

my average test grade was about an 85, lab was about 95-96, attendance should be 100, and my final? no idea...
but Praise the Lord for extra credit!

Woohoo!

pre-summertime

It feels like Spring was skipped, and we've moved straight from Winter into Summer.

Boo, I kind of wanted the grass and the hillsides in Riverside to stay green.

*sigh* Maybe it'll rain sometime soon?

At least the night feels awesome.

litmus test

Yesterday, I felt so bummed. I had just taken my Chemistry final and I didn't think I did well on it. Right after I got to my room and put my laundry in the washing machine, I started to calculate theoretical grades for Chemistry. Basically, I was hoping and praying for a B-.

I prayed asking Him to soften Tatum's heart, to pour mercy upon me, and...I asked for a sign. I said if I receive another C+ in Chemistry, then it's my sign to think about staying with Nursing, but if I receive a B-, I'll take that as my sign to think about Medicine as a possibility.

After that, I was thinking of calling my teacher the next day to ask about my grade, but I realized I didn't have his number. I left early this morning from La Sierra, so I couldn't go to his office and ask about my final grade.

When I got home, I started my ritual of checking my grades every hour until all are posted up..

and my Chemistry grade was surprisingly posted up just a few minutes ago...

I got a B.

Thank you, Lord!

for serious

As much as I dislike studying and some busy work,

I would never want to drop out of school.

I want to get as much education as I can.

I don't consider it all "book knowledge,"

for this is practical--this is a part of life (even of the life to come):

nursing, medicine, teaching.

floating

I feel like I'm floating down life's stream.
I don't know where I'm going; I don't know where I'm headed.
I don't know what I want to do, and yet there are so many things I want to do.

100th post

Wow, my 100th post! This is for sure special.

This was my devotion for this morning/email to Finish the Work, and I wanted to share it with the world:

On Luis' myspace headline, it says: "Preach at all times, using words if necessary." - St. Francis of Assisi

In Titus 2:11-15, the Bible says:
For the grace of God that bringeth salvation hath appeared to all men, teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly, in this present world; looking for that blessed hope, and the glorious appearance of the great God and our Saviour Jesus Christ; who gave Himself for us, that He might redeem us from all iniquity, and purify unto Himself a peculiar people, zealous of good works. These things speak, and exhort, and rebuke with all authority. Let no man despise thee.

We all have different callings, but in each of our callings, we have a common factor-- we are to live a set-apart life from the world for our wonderful Savior.
We are called to a higher standard than the world has for us, because most of the time, the world's standards of what is acceptable and right is not what the Lord has for us. Many times (I know I've done this!), we do something that is just not right because according to the world, it's "okay". But let us not forget James 4:17: Therefore to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin.

Romans 12:1-2 says,
I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

Here again, we see that we are called to live accordingly that we may prove that perfect will of God. In the first verse, we are to be "living sacrifices"--to die to self and to let Christ reign in us.
I've heard a saying that says, "To deny self is to be like Christ." I'm not sure where that's from, but as calling ourselves "Christians," we are saying that "CHRIST (lives) in us." Gal. 2:20.

Also, we are to look at Christ's example, not at each other's. We are can witness to each other through our lives, but there are times when we fall short of the glory of God. Rom. 3:23. We must remember to "look unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith," (Heb. 12:2) for He is the only one that will be able to keep us from falling and will lift us up. Jude 24, James 4:10.

If we're not sure if something is right or if we just don't know what to do in a situation, let us turn to God first-
If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. James 1:5

Ellen White has something to say about this:

"The lives of professing Christians who do not live the Christ life are a mockery to religion. Every one whose name is registered on the church roll is under obligation to represent Christ by revealing the inward adorning of a meek and quiet spirit. They are to be His witnesses, making known the advantages of walking and working as Christ has given them example. The truth for this time is to appear in its power in the lives of those who believe it, and is to be imparted to the world. Believers are to represent in their lives, its power to sanctify and ennoble. . . . They are to show forth the power of the grace that Christ died to give men. . . . They are to be men of faith, men of courage, whole-souled men, who, without questioning, trust in God and His promises. . . . There must be no pretense in the lives of those who have so sacred and solemn a message as we have been called to bear. The world is watching Seventh-day Adventists because it knows something of their profession of faith and of their high standard, and when it sees those who do not live up to their profession, it points at them with scorn." from God's Amazing Grace, page 247.


The greatest way to preach a sermon is through the life we live. God gave us a beautiful message and a wonderful callings--to be His ambassadors to this dark world (2 Cor. 5:20).

But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of Him who hath called you out of darkness into His marvellous light 2 Peter 2:9

lean on me

I was watching a few YouTube videos of Chorale from this year, and it made me miss it so much! I miss playing piano for them, going to concerts and adjudications, fun times during class, etc.

and then...
I found me on YouTube! Good night, Sweetheart

no lie

It's hard to live a set apart life sometimes for Christ. I just had to say it; most people know it's true. It's hard when trials and tribulations come your way, when you want something so much even though you know it's not right.

But I know, yes I do know so no need for reminders thanks, to look to Christ. He will give me strength and guidance when the waves crash around me, when my hopes sink, and I feel like I'm about to drown.

Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and He shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD. Psalms 27:14

changes

"Satan well knows that all whom he can lead to neglect prayer and the searching of the Scriptures will be overcome by his attacks. Therefore he invents every possible device to engross the mind." {GC 519.2}

Why am I online at such an early (or late) hour of the morning (or night)? Because I have let myself become distracted with many different things: (ice cream) cravings, Myspace, Facebook, talking with friends, etc. Those things were not created by Satan, but yet I let them distract and engross my mind for such long periods of time, that when I come to my senses, it is already late, so I do not have time to pray or have my devotions. I end up sleeping late, and waking up late also, so I miss my morning devotions.

I let these things distract me from studying and doing homework that I end up awake at 2-3 A.M. finishing them up, instead of sleeping like I should be (health message!)!

I've developed such a horrible habit, so that's why I'm blogging about it. I want all who come across this to hold me accountable--I will do my best to no longer waste the time that I have!

No more hours on Myspace, Facebook, Blogger, Tumblr, etc.

If any of you see me wasting my time on these things or just on random things, let me know! Rebuke me, yell at me, throw things at me, do whatever you must so I will be able to focus! Because trust me, I am soooo easily distracted !

Help me out: pray for me and/or hold me accountable.
Thanks and God Bless =]

eeeliesuh

I made a tumblr. I have no idea what to do with it.

it's love

I was thinking about this just now as I was preparing for my Chemistry test and I just wanted to let it out..

It is a common misconception to think that if one is not in a relationship with another individual, one cannot fully appreciate and celebrate Valentine's day. You can find love in so many places: in friends, family, and especially, in God.

It's love:

When my daddy, who is now struggling with walking, drives twice a week to Riverside and back to pick me up and drop me off at school. He hobbles, yet when I have a lot of stuff to carry, he comes out of the car and slowly walks up to my dorm to help me unload.

When my mommy, who works 5 days a week, and out of those 5, works 16 hours on 3 of those days. She does this in order that our family will be supported, and especially....to pay my college tuitition. It's not easy to pay more than $2,000 each month, but she does... so that when I graduate, I won't have several thousands of loans to pay off.

It is true love:

When Jesus came to Earth and died for us, so that one day, we will be able to rise up into the clouds and live with Him forever.

How beautiful!
It made me tear up just thinking of the things my parents do for me out of love, and I thought how much more should I marvel and wonder at the love of Christ.

can't stop

I am so busy.

I can't wait until Spring Break when I can pass out and sleep for a week to catch up for all the sleep I'm missing.

I am so sleep deprived and tired, and most of all...stressed!

tumblelog

I'm thinking of making a tumblelog.

Why, you ask? I think it best fits my way of thinking and sharing -- in a short, stream-of-consciousness format. (more information by the lovely wikipedia)

Really. It fits me.

One time, I emailed Mike and it was just me typing whatever was inside my head at the moment. The result? He said it was like I was talking to him in person.

The cons about this:
I still want to keep my blogspot and keeping up two blogs might tire me out. (LOL, no but seriously)
It'll feed my procrastination. (it isn't hard to feed me (physically as well...just lay out some food and I'll come)...I'm easily distracted...)
...

I'm not sure if I thought of more but those are two major ones.

But it just looks oh so fun!

necessities

I need to know that God has a better plan for me.
I need to know that it all happened for a reason.
I need to know that He will help me overcome.
I need to know that there was a reason why I was convicted on those things.
I need to know that there was a purpose to why I spoke up.
I need to know so many things.

But most of all, I need the faith of Jesus.

Here is the patience of the saints: here are they that keep the commandments of God, and the faith of Jesus. Revelation 14:12

new boots, please

My feet hurt.

I've been walking around campus trying to finish my errands. I went to the book store to buy a thank you card for the Khoe family and maybe stamps, but the stamps came in a book instead of separately and I already had stamps in a book but I wanted them separate so I didn't buy them. Then I went back to the dorm to get my stamps and cut them up for my recommenders and after, I walked to South Hall to see if Ms. Law was there. She wasn't, but a schedule by her door said that her office hours are from 1-3 P.M., so I'll be going back there. Next, I went to Hole Memorial to schedule my organ practice times, but no one was in the office because it's lunch, so I'll have to go back after 1 as well. Then, I went to drop off Dr. Joseph's recommendation at his office and he wasn't there, so I had to slide it under the door. Now I'm in my dorm room and I just finished emailing Loma Linda for my Pre-Admissions Tests schedule. Hopefully I can take it Feb. 15 at 9 A.M. with Jenny and Nikki!

Ten minutes until 1. Then I have to go back outside.

I'm not tired just because of that. If I was, that would be really sad. But actually, after eating at P.F. Chang's last night, we went to the snow! Luke, Ashley, Tony, Mymar, Jenny, Nikki, Luis and I went up to Forest Falls around 9 P.M. and we got there at 10 P.M. We had so much fun throwing snowballs at each other and running from the snow plower people. It was so tiring and cold though, and we didn't get back until 12:30. Fun stuff though! The snow started falling harder as we left, and it was crazy just to look up and watch it fall onto the windshield.

Anyways, here's a picture of the Thank you card I bought for the Khoe family. I'm so excited because it's so pretty!

rain, rain

The rain looked like so much fun to play in!

Nikki and I were staring outside our window and talking about what would happen if we were mini-people (like from Honey, I Shrunk the Kids) and what we would do if we were out in the rain. She said she would be holding onto one of the weeds so she wouldn't be pulled into the "current" of the sidewalk and drown but I told her I would be safe in the tree, hehe.

Yay, for rain! More WATER! eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee =]

my lab prayer

So I thought instead of blogging about so-called "emo" things (that's for you Jeremy, even though you haven't said anything like that to me but whatever) or random information about me, I think I'm going to blog about different illustrations/spiritual applications that pop into my mind or blessings that happened during the week.

Here's a beautiful blessing that happened to me last week:

On Thursday, I had three exams: Sociology, Anatomy, and Chemistry and my weekly anatomy lab quiz. I was not prepared for any of them! I was really worried about Chemistry especially because I'm retaking that class and I need a better grade.

I wanted to spend most of Wednesday studying, but the sleepy side of me took over and so after Morning Manna and breakfast with my LSU ministry loves, I slept for a couple of hours. Around eleven, I woke up and I started reading over Sociology. Then, around one, I got dressed and went to the Biology building to start working. I came in early to put grades into my computer and hang around in Daniel and Danny's labs.

I sooooo did not want to be there! I was so freaked out about my tests and I was telling Daniel, Danny, and Janine and Danny offered to work the first hour for me so I could study, but I told him that was okay. I wasn't sure how good that was going to look, especially since I asked Janine to write me a recommendation for Loma Linda! Danny wanted to help me out, but we couldn't be clocked in at the same time so he couldn't.

Coming into lab and greeting the students, I was so grumpy--the Grinch of Lab. I don't even know what I said to them (it wasn't horrible!; it just wasn't the nice, cheerful, bubbly me that it should have been LOL) but I was telling them how they should just basically do their best to work quickly in lab. Ha, I'm a great T.A. right?

Well, before their quiz, I decided to pray. I had been thinking about that the week before and I felt the Holy Spirit tugging me to pray with them, so I asked that whoever wanted to pray with me could bow their heads. I prayed asking the Lord to be with them during the quiz and during lab, and especially for all of us with our quizzes, and tests, and whatever we had going on in the week. Then, the lab went as usual.

Not only was I stressed about my tests, I was also stressed about the lab! Dr. McCloskey gave them a worksheet about the Hardy-Weinberg Theorem to work on and I remember that I did not do that great with that equation. I was scared of the questions they were going to ask me! I wasn't sure if I would be able to answer them.

But I thank the Lord for being with me during the lab! The students are so bright; most all of them understood the theorem and they got the right answers on their worksheet! Not only that, but my mood brightened and I knew it was because of that prayer. I wasn't as stressed for my tests during the lab, so I was able to just go around to the different groups and talk with them and whatever. It was great!

So that's my testimony of the week.

Other news:
I finished my Loma Linda School of Nursing application and submitted it! Now I have to print out the recommendation sheets and give them to my teachers, and submit transcript requests at GAA and GCC. Funn. oOoOo yeah, and study for TEAS! Blah.
annnnnd...I'm home. Alive. Dry. Not crying. For those that know the situation, that could possibly be a good start.

Yay, tomorrow is the LSU Winter Formal, but a few friends and I are going to have some fun on our own.

nothing to say

I don't have much to say.

This past weekend was such a blessing! I'm so glad that I went and I have no regrets on going.

But now, coming down to school, I have to face many challenges.

I've cried so much, hoping that the tears will cleanse my heart of all its hurts

but it doesn't.

I need You, Lord. I feel so alone, like I've never felt before.

hello winter quarter

It's my last day of break. =[

This upcoming quarter looks like it's going to be the busiest and maybe hardest one.
Take a look:

Sociology MTRF 9-10 A.M.
A&P 2 MTRF 10-11 A.M.
G. Chem 2 TR 1-2:50 P.M.
A&P Lab R 3-5:50 P.M.
Nutrition M 6-9:40 P.M.
T.A. W 12-3 P.M. (hopefully)

...joyous. It wouldn't be so bad if I weren't retaking G. Chem again. Ahh, when I looked over my powerpoints for that quarter, it was all the conceptual stuff! No math!

But I have faith =]

I've noticed that my grades and GPA get better as the quarters go by, and as the quarters go by, we've been more consistent in our ministry and Bible studies on campus. =]

Boo hoo still.
Break is coming to a close.