sad

Right now, I want to be a robot. I don't want to have any feelings. I have way too much hope and I care way too much and it's hurting me. I care about him, about what he's doing, if he's moved on, etc. It hurts my heart because I know that it was my fault. He gave me so many chances and I blew it. And now I won't ever get a chance to try to make it work. My heart hurts so much. I just want all my feelings to be taken out.

seven days.

For the next seven days, I will be fasting from TV shows that I've been watching, such as Glee, Chuck, and Modern Family. This is because I will be attending an open house and I'm really anxious about it. I really want the job at this particular hospital, but I really want God's will to be done. If I get rejected, well...I want the strength to continue on and not mope and feel discouraged.

Please pray for me!

college grad?

Photo by Renato Daluyen.

I graduated? Then why am I unemployed and living my life like it's a summer/winter vacation that will not end?

I spent most of the day on the computer, reading the real gleeks tweets, watching youtube videos, and updating my linked in profile. I decided not to run today (oh by the way, I'm training for a half-marathon. I know, right?!) and "clean."

I think it's about time that I get my life together. Aaaaaaaaamen?

story of my life.

The Only Thing - Ronnie Freeman

I heard someone say the other day
They'd seen in me true love displayed
Blessed by something I had done for them
No sooner had they said these words
I found myself somehow disturbed
Uneasy as I took their compliment
Cause I know the heart inside this man
I know the truth of who I am...

(Chorus)
The only thing that's good in me is Jesus
The only thing that's good in me is Jesus
I know me well enough to know
No matter what this life may show
The only thing that's good in me is Jesus

If you could walk the hallways of my heart
And see things as they really are
I wonder if you might be surprised
Seeing faded walls of pride and fear
Rooms I've filled with faithless tears
And corners where I've stood in compromise
But you'd see the work His grace has done
You'd know just how far I've come

In a thousand years
When the dust of this world clears
And I look back on my life
And see in perfect light

(Chorus)
The only thing that's good in me is Jesus
The only thing that's good in me is Jesus
I know me well enough to know
No matter what this life may show
The only thing that's good in me is Jesus

The only thing that's good in me is Jesus
The only thing that's good in me is Jesus
I know me well enough to know
No matter what this life may show
The only thing that's good in me is Jesus

humbleness.

When I think of humbleness, these verses from Philippians 2 comes to mind:

"Let nothing be done through strife and vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others. Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus: Who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God: But made Himself of no reputation, and took upon Him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men: And being found in fashion as a man, He humbled Himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross." verses 3-8

Quite often in conversations, my words don't reflect humbleness. I don't mean to act prideful, but because of my sarcasm, I usually say things like the following:

"P.S. Naps are one of the most awesome things in the world. The other awesome thing is me."

After I sent that text, I felt really lame. I've been thinking lately about my words and how through my words I may represent Christ. There are many times that without thinking, I respond with sarcasm and say lame things like the above statement. Or I'll end up teasing the other person and of course I don't really mean it (sometimes), but how is that representing Christ?

Teasing, joking, or sarcasm may seem harmless, but in Hebrews 3:13, the Bible says to "...exhort one another daily..." These things are something that I really need to take to heart and surrender to Christ. So often, I end up messing around with the other person or people because I've gotten so caught up in the conversation. I need to remember that I need to watch the words that I say.

"But the tongue can no man tame, it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. Therewith bless we God, even the Father; and therewith curse we men, which are made after the similitude of God. Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing. My brethen, these things ought not so to be." James 3: 8-10

Lastly, I need to keep in mind this verse:

"And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you." Ephesians 4:32

Happy Sabbath! =)

tumbling.

I haven't been giving this blog much attention lately. And when I say lately, I mean three months ago. I started updating my tumblr recently and I wish I could consolidate these two blogs. I don't want to delete this one because this one goes back to the end of my freshman year of college and I find it fun to read my former posts. Fun...and slightly embarrassing. I can't delete my tumblr because I don't have that option!

Anyways, here are a few blurbs about what's been going on recently:

• I'm taking boards VERY soon. I'm not ready. Prayers please!
• LLUSN Graduation is June 13, 2010 and YES, I am walking! Praise God!

....and that's pretty much it! I guess I can add that I got a haircut on Friday?

Hungry after that workout? - latimes.com

Hungry after that workout? - latimes.com

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